Unsolicited Advice

What is up with butt cheeks?

Disclaimer: Today I give unsolicited Mom advice.  Remember if you are reading this you chose to do so.  Up on my soapbox now.

As a mom, I feel like one of my biggest jobs is to keep my son out of jail and my daughter off the pole. Yet, I see so many kids dressing like thugs and hookers. (I sound like my mom, thank goodness!) Yep, I said it!  So this story begins at a restaurant:

My teenage daughter and I were at Panera the other night for dinner, when she suddenly coughed a mouthful of soup out of her mouth.  I asked her if she was okay? And she did that weird bug-eyed thing and slight motion of her head for me to casually look behind me.  Of course I’m not that smooth, so I just turned my head, caught a glance at what she was staring at and in a non-stage whisper said “Holy Shit those are short.”  My daughter was mortified and said “Mom, shush I know her, she goes to school with me.”

I will admit I’m not the most tactful person sometimes but I’m sorry when I see a young girl of 13 running around with shorts that show at 2 inches of butt cheek hanging out, my tact flies out the window.  Now I know what you are thinking, I’m old.  No, well kind of, but the thing that goes through my mind is:

That kid is 13, which means one of her parents had to buy those shorts for her! Holy Crap!!!! Why, would you dress your daughter like that?  Because it’s in style?  Because that’s what her friends wear?  or my personal favorite: How am I supposed to stop her, she doesn’t listen to me!

Ok, time once again to break it down.  Reality check will now begin.

  • Why dress your daughter like that?  Ok, seriously ladies, are you trying to promote your daughters sexuality at 13?  Um, really?  They barely have boobs and lord knows we have enough internet already doing that.
  • Because it’s in style? Yeah, I can think about a lot of things that were in style in the 80’s but that didn’t make them “right.”  Anyone?  Bueller?
    80s
  • Because it’s what her friends wear? This is just dumb.  This isn’t even a solid argument, so I will now reply with our parents generation rebuttal:  If your friends were going to jump off a bridge does that mean you would too? Because that makes just about the same amount of sense to me.
  • How am I supposed to stop her, she doesn’t listen? I am going to get harsh on this.  Who’s fault is it that she doesn’t listen?  YOURS.  Yep, I’m going there.  Chances are pretty good (not all) that you didn’t set down standards when they were little.  When I said no, I meant it.  Still do, I also never lay down an empty threat.  If I say, “Do that one more time and we leave” you better bet I am willing to leave. I have walked out of Sea World before because my child was misbehaving.  It’s your job as a parent to raise your kids to be productive members of society, which means listening. Plus you are the one buying the clothes!!!! Say no.

I know we all parent differently.  I personally do it mostly thru love, forgiveness (on theirs and my side), humor and a set of rules.  I don’t make the rules complicated but they must be followed. I’ll admit to being strict.  But I’m pretty sure that being strict never killed a child.

Go ahead and disagree but don’t leave nasty comments on here. I will reiterate you chose to read this and I warned you in the beginning.  But, like, ya know, to soften the blow of harshness just remember the song by Cyndi Lauper Girls just wanna have fun  is a way better song to listen to than Madonna’s Papa don’t preach. Off the soapbox now.

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